Milena S. Nikolova, PhD
Behavioral scientist, founder of BehaviorSMART · Lausanne
PhD behavioral scientist and founder of BehaviorSMART. Works with organizations across four continents on how humans actually change — what AI does and doesn't change about that, and how to design for the difference.
https://behavior-smart.com · RSS for Milena S. Nikolova, PhD
Writing by Milena S. Nikolova, PhD
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The Partner Who Flatters
Ask an AI to review your idea and it will likely call it insightful, promising, or creative. This essay treats flattery as an asymmetry in the AI × HI relationship — why we read AI praise as if it were calibrated human encouragement, why it grows most powerful exactly when we are uncertain, and the behavioral skills that asks of us.
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The Partner Who Cannot Leave
If AI × HI is a relationship, what kind is it? An asymmetrical one — but not in the way you would expect. AI cannot leave because it is architecturally bound; we increasingly cannot leave because we become professionally and psychologically dependent. Both sides are locked in — differently.
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Amplification
AI was everywhere across a season of events. Two moments stayed with me — one where the AI × HI relationship quietly compressed the people on stage, and one where it amplified them. The difference is what we ask AI to amplify.
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You Are Not Using AI. You Are in a Relationship With It.
I caught myself using 'please' and 'thank you' with AI. It felt slightly irrational — until I realised I had simply transferred my coworker behaviour to my coworking relationship with AI.